we have cleansed.
we have taken a candle, sage, salt, a clear quartz, smokey quartz, amethyst, and citrine down.
we took them all down to the depths.
the depths of the great unknown.
to the depths of what we call:
the basement suite below us.

the woman who lived down there passed away 2 weeks ago, and finally
jeanie and i can clean up and clear out the energies that cause us to feel unsettled.

it was surprisingly nice in there. no cobwebs, or nail-scratched marks on the wall. no blood stains,
no broken windows... all of which i imagined because, not only am i dramatic, but was totally assuming
of the life our late housemate led.

we lit our bundle of sage and carefully stepped around the place counterclockwise, treating the space as a vast
portal for dark/light energies and all sorts of pathways to the unknown.
we found this crazy pentagonal shaped room, the size of a shower in the bathroom (no, its wasn't the actual shower) but had a plain concrete floor, panel ceiling, and bare light bulb dangling from the top. i called it the "sit-one-out" cupboard for naughty children....
but that gave me a pain in my hip when i said it.

we finished smudging and then let all the air swish out the back door and we even left our back enterance to the basement open.
its still open now. and i feel ok about it.

i only say all this because before we found out about her death we were having extremely disturbing dreams and intuitive feelings about her. i had dreams where i would be down in her place (which i had never been in before) and noticed that she had about 7 entrances up to our main floor, whereas we only have one down to her place. I sobbed and sobbed, thinking " thats why she's always in my head" or " thats why i'm not settled, or feel like i don't have a private place to live"...
Jeanie also came home one night with the feeling that she had hurt herself, or she was about to hurt herself.
Also, 2 days before we found out, I had this gut feeling that the downstairs was going to be empty by the Spring. I just knew it. However, the only logical reason would be that she would have moved out. So, i told jeanie that she was moving out soon.
I guess moving out could also be interpreted at " moving out of this world"...... maybe?

Anyways, I feel calm and at peace and can't wait to fall asleep and feel safe and free of fear.

(I'm not being insulting or insensitive, but she had a lot of negative energies and fear and agression that seemed to penetrate our daily lives. We have immense sympathy for her family and friends and knew she was dealing with a lot. We hope her spirit has gone on to bathe in forgivness and true happiness)

( i sound like a total douche bag.)

(but i mean it.)


(give me some cred. some street cred)


( tonight is the FULL MOON in VIRGO!!!)
(jeanie and i wrote all our fears or false beliefs on a peice of paper and BURNED THEM to release their incredible power over us. NO MORE FEAR and NO MORE NEGATIVE BELIEFS says i !)


ok, going to sleep now. lovely lover sleep. sleeping with my own lover self. lovely lover self.
ps- i think i might buy a sex toy. aaaaaoooooooh...... (that was a moan)

jiller