i have to blog hard and blog fast..
so here it goes.

i am finding some pretty awesome stuff tonight.

im looking up the greatest man to
have graced this planet (along with richard brautigan), but FRANK ZAPPA.
one of the most inspiring people to me.
and sexiest. i would pleasure that man, possibly, for the rest of my life.
oh, hi frank.
i wish i could be more eloquent,
but at 2:30 am,
after a joint i just can't articulate anything else.

check er out.


he knows his shit. he's got it down.
he's oooon it.
like on.

Nava Yoni.

this is all i can give tonight.
lechaim.

we have cleansed.
we have taken a candle, sage, salt, a clear quartz, smokey quartz, amethyst, and citrine down.
we took them all down to the depths.
the depths of the great unknown.
to the depths of what we call:
the basement suite below us.

the woman who lived down there passed away 2 weeks ago, and finally
jeanie and i can clean up and clear out the energies that cause us to feel unsettled.

it was surprisingly nice in there. no cobwebs, or nail-scratched marks on the wall. no blood stains,
no broken windows... all of which i imagined because, not only am i dramatic, but was totally assuming
of the life our late housemate led.

we lit our bundle of sage and carefully stepped around the place counterclockwise, treating the space as a vast
portal for dark/light energies and all sorts of pathways to the unknown.
we found this crazy pentagonal shaped room, the size of a shower in the bathroom (no, its wasn't the actual shower) but had a plain concrete floor, panel ceiling, and bare light bulb dangling from the top. i called it the "sit-one-out" cupboard for naughty children....
but that gave me a pain in my hip when i said it.

we finished smudging and then let all the air swish out the back door and we even left our back enterance to the basement open.
its still open now. and i feel ok about it.

i only say all this because before we found out about her death we were having extremely disturbing dreams and intuitive feelings about her. i had dreams where i would be down in her place (which i had never been in before) and noticed that she had about 7 entrances up to our main floor, whereas we only have one down to her place. I sobbed and sobbed, thinking " thats why she's always in my head" or " thats why i'm not settled, or feel like i don't have a private place to live"...
Jeanie also came home one night with the feeling that she had hurt herself, or she was about to hurt herself.
Also, 2 days before we found out, I had this gut feeling that the downstairs was going to be empty by the Spring. I just knew it. However, the only logical reason would be that she would have moved out. So, i told jeanie that she was moving out soon.
I guess moving out could also be interpreted at " moving out of this world"...... maybe?

Anyways, I feel calm and at peace and can't wait to fall asleep and feel safe and free of fear.

(I'm not being insulting or insensitive, but she had a lot of negative energies and fear and agression that seemed to penetrate our daily lives. We have immense sympathy for her family and friends and knew she was dealing with a lot. We hope her spirit has gone on to bathe in forgivness and true happiness)

( i sound like a total douche bag.)

(but i mean it.)


(give me some cred. some street cred)


( tonight is the FULL MOON in VIRGO!!!)
(jeanie and i wrote all our fears or false beliefs on a peice of paper and BURNED THEM to release their incredible power over us. NO MORE FEAR and NO MORE NEGATIVE BELIEFS says i !)


ok, going to sleep now. lovely lover sleep. sleeping with my own lover self. lovely lover self.
ps- i think i might buy a sex toy. aaaaaoooooooh...... (that was a moan)

jiller

so you must listen to this while you read today's entry.
it's a must.
for some reason this reminds me of biking slowly through Glenora in Edmonton. All those huge houses that have been there for so long.
I can't wait for biking again!!
anyways....


not that this entry has much more importance than the rest, i'm just going for a bit of ambiance and things and stuff.

so today is officially the first day of march.
jeanie says so.
i woke up and said " Happy February 28th!" and she said " March 1st" and then i said "oh, ok"

so, it's officially the first day of March.

and things are going on. like, for instance, I cut my hair.
well trimmed it. the back of it.
ok, just the sides, ever so slightly.
but i feel like a new woman. i feel like a new March, not unlike today (right, Jeanie?)

i just ordered 3 things online today, which i never do, (if you dont count that book, the vibrator, and the small shoe horn/backscratcher last month. they were "must-haves"!)

i purchased:
a) Richard Brautigan's recorded readings of his poems, called Listening to Richard Brautigan
b) Shapershifter- Soulstice (you'll have to pause the Sun Kil Moon song for a moment)

c) and Richard Brautigan's Trout Fishing in America, The Pill Versus the Springhill Mine Disaster, and In Watermelon Sugar
(all these links are quite interesting, take the time, fellow reader, take the time)

So, Jeanie has been raving about Yoga Nidra. It is a audio recording of guided yogic meditation (i think, well here is the real definition)
So pretty much, Yoga Nidra means Yogic Sleep. It is a state of conscious Deep Sleep. In Meditation, you remain in the Waking state of consciousness, and gently focus the mind, while allowing thought patterns, emotions, sensations, and images to arise and go on. It's pretty awesome where your mind goes. However, in Yoga Nidra, you leave the Waking state, go past the Dreaming state, and go to Deep Sleep, yet remain awake. You dont really remember much past the introduction, but you are still taking in what is being said.
Im going to try this one tonight.
I hope all goes well.
This will be me.
Or this, I can't decide.

I've started to create my own body oils/moisturizers. Mostly because it's hella fun (yeah, i just said hella) and because they smell like they were made in a dream.
I've been mixing essential oils in different combinations to produce different sensations in my body and mind. As kooky as that sounds, I have truly experienced incredible relaxation, calmness and motivation from these oils.
To break it down, I have been using pure Coconut Oil as a base and adding essential oils right in and BOOM, you have a lovely body moisturizing, healing, regenerating salve. ( I only used the word 'salve' because my mind was like " you should use this word, Jill", so...)

Essential oils added:
Lavender- relaxing, soothing to skin, regenerates skin cells, aids insomnia. (dont use if your preggers)
Vanilla-anti oxidant, aphrodisiac, anti carcinogenic, febrifuge(pretty much means that it reduces fevers) , anti depressant, sedative and relaxing.
Bergamot- energizing, uplifting, increases circulation, anitspetic, anti biotic, helps with eczema and psoriasis
Patchouli- stimulates new cell growth, anit-depressant, aphrodisiac, grounding

I cover my body every morning and night, and holy shit-shitter, this is the CRAZIEST thing ever!! My bum is SO soft and the skin on my shoulders and stomach is so much more plump and soft and glowing... its AWESOME!!
Go to your local organic store and purchase some Coconut oil, even if you dont mix it with essential oils, the natural fats and soothing effects are SO great for your body.
Choose oil in GLASS containers, as plastic will leech possible chemicals and carcinogens into whatever product is being contained, and since it is being absorbed into your skin, you want "pure" coconut oil!! Got it? Also, look for this small symbol on the jar, to make sure you are using "organic approved" products.
great.

Go and get silky slinky.

And don't forget to stretch more.

jill