jiller filler reporting for duty, sir.
"sorry what was that, ma'am?"
oh that was just me, reporting for duty. as in doodie... sir.
"sorry, can you repeat that, colonel?"
yes, i am REPORTING FOR DOODIES, SIR.
"ok, right then, give me your butt"
8.25.2010
7.13.2009
late night computer surfing
tall women
and
umbrellas, anyone
and then there is this product, that actually has a patent for it..
Sound Muffler for Covering the Mouth (US 4834212)
Meet the "Sound Muffler," a device into which a person may yell or scream without disturbing others, allowing him to vent built-up anger and frustration. The interior of the muffler is coated with foam. A microphone can be included to pick up a some sound and activate a light display or meter giving the user immediate visual feedback as to the intensity of sound produced.
this is all cool stuff i will dream about tonight when i go to bed.
nighty.
7.11.2009
chemtrails are giving me angina
My bed is smelly and full of sleep. I sit here and listen to the rain outside, and every so often i get whiffs of the earthy rain and feel much more complete with the world.
The Irish woman next door had a barbecue with family tonight. They sat on the front deck and ate their charred food, and i, similarly, sat on my front stoop and ate my hashbrowns and scrambled eggs.
Jeanie has guests over and I feel bad because one girl, Allison, was going to sleep in my bed because I said I would sleep elsewhere... but i came home, and had to kick her out. AND on top of it all, she was lying in my b.o stinky man- ridden bedsheets.
yyyyyyyuck.
sorry, love.
So chemtrails. I was just reading about them. I think its fascinating how not only are these things appearing, but the wonderful ideas we have about them. I am in no place to really make any assumptions (mostly because i dont know shit about them) however, i think if they were spreading pnemonia through airbourne mist cloudy things to wipe out whole races of humans.... well....... then..................... i dont know what to tell you.
i am in love.
thats all i will say about that.
Also, there are crumbs in my bed and THAT is discerning.
so, now i will curl up and be thankful for the rain and the cute little cat outside my door, scratching to get in.
goodnight.
4.14.2009
going
doobie da da
diddle-dee-doo
tomorrow i will wake up and get out of bed and tramp over to the bathroom. i know this because i always do this in the morning.
im just not light footed in the morning. nor am i social.
jeanie knows this to be true.
my feet are heavy and my mind is muddled... and so it goes.
i will wash my body, hopefully with no lights on because a) the fan that turns on with them is loud and obnoxious and b) if there is enough sunlight, it feels like im showering under a waterfall...
so a solar lit shower, then get dressed, do some other stuff then BOARD A PLANE!
Finally i get to escape again.
Im off to adventure and breathe and remember what it was once like to feel my feet on the ground, and, in turn, my head in the clouds.
I will get to adventure off into a wonderful land of green, and fresh with no time schedules to punch and in and out of.
and i get to explore with someone who makes me pee with delight.
so all in all, life is grand.
"have fun, jill"
oh, i will.
diddle-dee-doo
tomorrow i will wake up and get out of bed and tramp over to the bathroom. i know this because i always do this in the morning.
im just not light footed in the morning. nor am i social.
jeanie knows this to be true.
my feet are heavy and my mind is muddled... and so it goes.
i will wash my body, hopefully with no lights on because a) the fan that turns on with them is loud and obnoxious and b) if there is enough sunlight, it feels like im showering under a waterfall...
so a solar lit shower, then get dressed, do some other stuff then BOARD A PLANE!
Finally i get to escape again.
Im off to adventure and breathe and remember what it was once like to feel my feet on the ground, and, in turn, my head in the clouds.
I will get to adventure off into a wonderful land of green, and fresh with no time schedules to punch and in and out of.
and i get to explore with someone who makes me pee with delight.
so all in all, life is grand.
"have fun, jill"
oh, i will.
3.22.2009
i have to blog hard and blog fast..
so here it goes.
i am finding some pretty awesome stuff tonight.
im looking up the greatest man to
have graced this planet (along with richard brautigan), but FRANK ZAPPA.
one of the most inspiring people to me.
and sexiest. i would pleasure that man, possibly, for the rest of my life.
oh, hi frank.
i wish i could be more eloquent,
but at 2:30 am,
after a joint i just can't articulate anything else.
check er out.
he knows his shit. he's got it down.
he's oooon it.
like on.
Nava Yoni.
this is all i can give tonight.
lechaim.
so here it goes.
i am finding some pretty awesome stuff tonight.
im looking up the greatest man to
have graced this planet (along with richard brautigan), but FRANK ZAPPA.
one of the most inspiring people to me.
and sexiest. i would pleasure that man, possibly, for the rest of my life.
oh, hi frank.
i wish i could be more eloquent,
but at 2:30 am,
after a joint i just can't articulate anything else.
check er out.
he knows his shit. he's got it down.
he's oooon it.
like on.
Nava Yoni.
this is all i can give tonight.
lechaim.
3.11.2009
we have cleansed.
we have taken a candle, sage, salt, a clear quartz, smokey quartz, amethyst, and citrine down.
we took them all down to the depths.
the depths of the great unknown.
to the depths of what we call:
the basement suite below us.
the woman who lived down there passed away 2 weeks ago, and finally
jeanie and i can clean up and clear out the energies that cause us to feel unsettled.
it was surprisingly nice in there. no cobwebs, or nail-scratched marks on the wall. no blood stains,
no broken windows... all of which i imagined because, not only am i dramatic, but was totally assuming
of the life our late housemate led.
we lit our bundle of sage and carefully stepped around the place counterclockwise, treating the space as a vast
portal for dark/light energies and all sorts of pathways to the unknown.
we found this crazy pentagonal shaped room, the size of a shower in the bathroom (no, its wasn't the actual shower) but had a plain concrete floor, panel ceiling, and bare light bulb dangling from the top. i called it the "sit-one-out" cupboard for naughty children....
but that gave me a pain in my hip when i said it.
we finished smudging and then let all the air swish out the back door and we even left our back enterance to the basement open.
its still open now. and i feel ok about it.
i only say all this because before we found out about her death we were having extremely disturbing dreams and intuitive feelings about her. i had dreams where i would be down in her place (which i had never been in before) and noticed that she had about 7 entrances up to our main floor, whereas we only have one down to her place. I sobbed and sobbed, thinking " thats why she's always in my head" or " thats why i'm not settled, or feel like i don't have a private place to live"...
Jeanie also came home one night with the feeling that she had hurt herself, or she was about to hurt herself.
Also, 2 days before we found out, I had this gut feeling that the downstairs was going to be empty by the Spring. I just knew it. However, the only logical reason would be that she would have moved out. So, i told jeanie that she was moving out soon.
I guess moving out could also be interpreted at " moving out of this world"...... maybe?
Anyways, I feel calm and at peace and can't wait to fall asleep and feel safe and free of fear.
(I'm not being insulting or insensitive, but she had a lot of negative energies and fear and agression that seemed to penetrate our daily lives. We have immense sympathy for her family and friends and knew she was dealing with a lot. We hope her spirit has gone on to bathe in forgivness and true happiness)
( i sound like a total douche bag.)
(but i mean it.)
(give me some cred. some street cred)
( tonight is the FULL MOON in VIRGO!!!)
(jeanie and i wrote all our fears or false beliefs on a peice of paper and BURNED THEM to release their incredible power over us. NO MORE FEAR and NO MORE NEGATIVE BELIEFS says i !)
ok, going to sleep now. lovely lover sleep. sleeping with my own lover self. lovely lover self.
ps- i think i might buy a sex toy. aaaaaoooooooh...... (that was a moan)
jiller
we have taken a candle, sage, salt, a clear quartz, smokey quartz, amethyst, and citrine down.
we took them all down to the depths.
the depths of the great unknown.
to the depths of what we call:
the basement suite below us.
the woman who lived down there passed away 2 weeks ago, and finally
jeanie and i can clean up and clear out the energies that cause us to feel unsettled.
it was surprisingly nice in there. no cobwebs, or nail-scratched marks on the wall. no blood stains,
no broken windows... all of which i imagined because, not only am i dramatic, but was totally assuming
of the life our late housemate led.
we lit our bundle of sage and carefully stepped around the place counterclockwise, treating the space as a vast
portal for dark/light energies and all sorts of pathways to the unknown.
we found this crazy pentagonal shaped room, the size of a shower in the bathroom (no, its wasn't the actual shower) but had a plain concrete floor, panel ceiling, and bare light bulb dangling from the top. i called it the "sit-one-out" cupboard for naughty children....
but that gave me a pain in my hip when i said it.
we finished smudging and then let all the air swish out the back door and we even left our back enterance to the basement open.
its still open now. and i feel ok about it.
i only say all this because before we found out about her death we were having extremely disturbing dreams and intuitive feelings about her. i had dreams where i would be down in her place (which i had never been in before) and noticed that she had about 7 entrances up to our main floor, whereas we only have one down to her place. I sobbed and sobbed, thinking " thats why she's always in my head" or " thats why i'm not settled, or feel like i don't have a private place to live"...
Jeanie also came home one night with the feeling that she had hurt herself, or she was about to hurt herself.
Also, 2 days before we found out, I had this gut feeling that the downstairs was going to be empty by the Spring. I just knew it. However, the only logical reason would be that she would have moved out. So, i told jeanie that she was moving out soon.
I guess moving out could also be interpreted at " moving out of this world"...... maybe?
Anyways, I feel calm and at peace and can't wait to fall asleep and feel safe and free of fear.
(I'm not being insulting or insensitive, but she had a lot of negative energies and fear and agression that seemed to penetrate our daily lives. We have immense sympathy for her family and friends and knew she was dealing with a lot. We hope her spirit has gone on to bathe in forgivness and true happiness)
( i sound like a total douche bag.)
(but i mean it.)
(give me some cred. some street cred)
( tonight is the FULL MOON in VIRGO!!!)
(jeanie and i wrote all our fears or false beliefs on a peice of paper and BURNED THEM to release their incredible power over us. NO MORE FEAR and NO MORE NEGATIVE BELIEFS says i !)
ok, going to sleep now. lovely lover sleep. sleeping with my own lover self. lovely lover self.
ps- i think i might buy a sex toy. aaaaaoooooooh...... (that was a moan)
jiller
3.01.2009
so you must listen to this while you read today's entry.
it's a must.
for some reason this reminds me of biking slowly through Glenora in Edmonton. All those huge houses that have been there for so long.
I can't wait for biking again!!
anyways....
not that this entry has much more importance than the rest, i'm just going for a bit of ambiance and things and stuff.
so today is officially the first day of march.
jeanie says so.
i woke up and said " Happy February 28th!" and she said " March 1st" and then i said "oh, ok"
so, it's officially the first day of March.
and things are going on. like, for instance, I cut my hair.
well trimmed it. the back of it.
ok, just the sides, ever so slightly.
but i feel like a new woman. i feel like a new March, not unlike today (right, Jeanie?)
i just ordered 3 things online today, which i never do, (if you dont count that book, the vibrator, and the small shoe horn/backscratcher last month. they were "must-haves"!)
i purchased:
a) Richard Brautigan's recorded readings of his poems, called Listening to Richard Brautigan
b) Shapershifter- Soulstice (you'll have to pause the Sun Kil Moon song for a moment)
c) and Richard Brautigan's Trout Fishing in America, The Pill Versus the Springhill Mine Disaster, and In Watermelon Sugar
(all these links are quite interesting, take the time, fellow reader, take the time)
So, Jeanie has been raving about Yoga Nidra. It is a audio recording of guided yogic meditation (i think, well here is the real definition)
So pretty much, Yoga Nidra means Yogic Sleep. It is a state of conscious Deep Sleep. In Meditation, you remain in the Waking state of consciousness, and gently focus the mind, while allowing thought patterns, emotions, sensations, and images to arise and go on. It's pretty awesome where your mind goes. However, in Yoga Nidra, you leave the Waking state, go past the Dreaming state, and go to Deep Sleep, yet remain awake. You dont really remember much past the introduction, but you are still taking in what is being said.
Im going to try this one tonight.
I hope all goes well.
This will be me.
Or this, I can't decide.
I've started to create my own body oils/moisturizers. Mostly because it's hella fun (yeah, i just said hella) and because they smell like they were made in a dream.
I've been mixing essential oils in different combinations to produce different sensations in my body and mind. As kooky as that sounds, I have truly experienced incredible relaxation, calmness and motivation from these oils.
To break it down, I have been using pure Coconut Oil as a base and adding essential oils right in and BOOM, you have a lovely body moisturizing, healing, regenerating salve. ( I only used the word 'salve' because my mind was like " you should use this word, Jill", so...)
Essential oils added:
Lavender- relaxing, soothing to skin, regenerates skin cells, aids insomnia. (dont use if your preggers)
Vanilla-anti oxidant, aphrodisiac, anti carcinogenic, febrifuge(pretty much means that it reduces fevers) , anti depressant, sedative and relaxing.
Bergamot- energizing, uplifting, increases circulation, anitspetic, anti biotic, helps with eczema and psoriasis
Patchouli- stimulates new cell growth, anit-depressant, aphrodisiac, grounding
I cover my body every morning and night, and holy shit-shitter, this is the CRAZIEST thing ever!! My bum is SO soft and the skin on my shoulders and stomach is so much more plump and soft and glowing... its AWESOME!!
Go to your local organic store and purchase some Coconut oil, even if you dont mix it with essential oils, the natural fats and soothing effects are SO great for your body.
Choose oil in GLASS containers, as plastic will leech possible chemicals and carcinogens into whatever product is being contained, and since it is being absorbed into your skin, you want "pure" coconut oil!! Got it? Also, look for this small symbol on the jar, to make sure you are using "organic approved" products.
great.
Go and get silky slinky.
And don't forget to stretch more.
jill
it's a must.
for some reason this reminds me of biking slowly through Glenora in Edmonton. All those huge houses that have been there for so long.
I can't wait for biking again!!
anyways....
not that this entry has much more importance than the rest, i'm just going for a bit of ambiance and things and stuff.
so today is officially the first day of march.
jeanie says so.
i woke up and said " Happy February 28th!" and she said " March 1st" and then i said "oh, ok"
so, it's officially the first day of March.
and things are going on. like, for instance, I cut my hair.
well trimmed it. the back of it.
ok, just the sides, ever so slightly.
but i feel like a new woman. i feel like a new March, not unlike today (right, Jeanie?)
i just ordered 3 things online today, which i never do, (if you dont count that book, the vibrator, and the small shoe horn/backscratcher last month. they were "must-haves"!)
i purchased:
a) Richard Brautigan's recorded readings of his poems, called Listening to Richard Brautigan
b) Shapershifter- Soulstice (you'll have to pause the Sun Kil Moon song for a moment)
c) and Richard Brautigan's Trout Fishing in America, The Pill Versus the Springhill Mine Disaster, and In Watermelon Sugar
(all these links are quite interesting, take the time, fellow reader, take the time)
So, Jeanie has been raving about Yoga Nidra. It is a audio recording of guided yogic meditation (i think, well here is the real definition)
So pretty much, Yoga Nidra means Yogic Sleep. It is a state of conscious Deep Sleep. In Meditation, you remain in the Waking state of consciousness, and gently focus the mind, while allowing thought patterns, emotions, sensations, and images to arise and go on. It's pretty awesome where your mind goes. However, in Yoga Nidra, you leave the Waking state, go past the Dreaming state, and go to Deep Sleep, yet remain awake. You dont really remember much past the introduction, but you are still taking in what is being said.
Im going to try this one tonight.
I hope all goes well.
This will be me.
Or this, I can't decide.
I've started to create my own body oils/moisturizers. Mostly because it's hella fun (yeah, i just said hella) and because they smell like they were made in a dream.
I've been mixing essential oils in different combinations to produce different sensations in my body and mind. As kooky as that sounds, I have truly experienced incredible relaxation, calmness and motivation from these oils.
To break it down, I have been using pure Coconut Oil as a base and adding essential oils right in and BOOM, you have a lovely body moisturizing, healing, regenerating salve. ( I only used the word 'salve' because my mind was like " you should use this word, Jill", so...)
Essential oils added:
Lavender- relaxing, soothing to skin, regenerates skin cells, aids insomnia. (dont use if your preggers)
Vanilla-anti oxidant, aphrodisiac, anti carcinogenic, febrifuge(pretty much means that it reduces fevers) , anti depressant, sedative and relaxing.
Bergamot- energizing, uplifting, increases circulation, anitspetic, anti biotic, helps with eczema and psoriasis
Patchouli- stimulates new cell growth, anit-depressant, aphrodisiac, grounding
I cover my body every morning and night, and holy shit-shitter, this is the CRAZIEST thing ever!! My bum is SO soft and the skin on my shoulders and stomach is so much more plump and soft and glowing... its AWESOME!!
Go to your local organic store and purchase some Coconut oil, even if you dont mix it with essential oils, the natural fats and soothing effects are SO great for your body.
Choose oil in GLASS containers, as plastic will leech possible chemicals and carcinogens into whatever product is being contained, and since it is being absorbed into your skin, you want "pure" coconut oil!! Got it? Also, look for this small symbol on the jar, to make sure you are using "organic approved" products.
great.
Go and get silky slinky.
And don't forget to stretch more.
jill
2.10.2009
JILL'S RANT. RANT. RANT.
it's a wonderful day in the neighborhood
a beautiful day in the neighborhood
would you be mine?
but since Valentine's day is on the way, I'm in more of a sentimental, aw shit, even "romantic" mood..
and i'll pretty much take anything i can get. sure i'll be yours, mr. R.
i've been single for a long time now, with one possible relationship turned friendship (for the better) and maybe the occasional "moment" at the Mall when we both go to grab for the same shirt (unisex section) and make eye contact and our child's 3rd Birthday Party flashed to my mind...
but other than that- totally fucking single.
don't get me wrong, this is no complaint. it's pretty much been a choice, however.....
why doesnt anyone like me?
"oh they do, you just can't see it"
well why don't they make a fucking move already, and then we'll decide who is who.
or maybe its because there isnt anyone out there i actually like.
oh god, could it be true? am i already an old shriveled lady who doesnt give a shit about wearing her slippers to the store, with bald spots and rotten breath, but still goes on smiling wide and yapping at people??
god, i had hopes to become that eventually, but not now. not this way. not this time. (arent those lyrics to something? lame)
anyways, this is my morning rant and now i will go to work, mindlessly think of nothing, come home and attempt to finish this grant application i am applying for....
good god.
someone bake me a cake for VD already. fuck.
love: jill
a beautiful day in the neighborhood
would you be mine?
how cute is mr.rogers and his fucking slippers and his fucking coo-choo train and his cute fucking cardigans and the way he politely asked if "i'll be his"...
usually i would make some sneer remark towards his extremely small and deceased genitals,but since Valentine's day is on the way, I'm in more of a sentimental, aw shit, even "romantic" mood..
and i'll pretty much take anything i can get. sure i'll be yours, mr. R.
i've been single for a long time now, with one possible relationship turned friendship (for the better) and maybe the occasional "moment" at the Mall when we both go to grab for the same shirt (unisex section) and make eye contact and our child's 3rd Birthday Party flashed to my mind...
but other than that- totally fucking single.
don't get me wrong, this is no complaint. it's pretty much been a choice, however.....
why doesnt anyone like me?
"oh they do, you just can't see it"
well why don't they make a fucking move already, and then we'll decide who is who.
or maybe its because there isnt anyone out there i actually like.
oh god, could it be true? am i already an old shriveled lady who doesnt give a shit about wearing her slippers to the store, with bald spots and rotten breath, but still goes on smiling wide and yapping at people??
god, i had hopes to become that eventually, but not now. not this way. not this time. (arent those lyrics to something? lame)
anyways, this is my morning rant and now i will go to work, mindlessly think of nothing, come home and attempt to finish this grant application i am applying for....
good god.
someone bake me a cake for VD already. fuck.
love: jill
1.26.2009
I am a poopy farter.
so now that i have just recently installed my Stumble Upon Toolbar I am most definitley going to be blogging a shitload more...
Mostly because I sometimes feel like I dont have anything important to blog about, and now with this newfound friend on mine, StumbleUpon, I can have hella-interesting shit to throw your way.
Not unlike this guy.
His name is Michael Kenna, and he takes amazing photographs. I just discovered him after I looked a total of 287 pictures of kittens on The Daily Kitten. It was not only a wonderfully indulgent experience, but a rather nauseating one as well. Kittens are so fucking cute, but the sounds that came out of my mouth, and the clenching of teeth and fists is embarrassing.
This is another of Michael Kenna's works.
Holy Fan Douchiery. Jeanie just found the COOOOOLEST thing ever. We've been on our computers, on her bed for the past 2 hours just looking up shit, and finally we have come upon the FUNNEST thing in THE WORLD.
GO HERE.
DO THIS!! Copy and paste this line and put it in the box, then click the "Say It' button on the top right.
" Vagina farts. Farty Fart fat farts. vag vag vaggy. voo voo. i am a douche bag."
(and if you are really adventurous listen to this!! this is one jeanie and i made up.)
This may change your life forever. But i won't take credit for it. It's all up to you.
God Speed, my children.
Mostly because I sometimes feel like I dont have anything important to blog about, and now with this newfound friend on mine, StumbleUpon, I can have hella-interesting shit to throw your way.
Not unlike this guy.
His name is Michael Kenna, and he takes amazing photographs. I just discovered him after I looked a total of 287 pictures of kittens on The Daily Kitten. It was not only a wonderfully indulgent experience, but a rather nauseating one as well. Kittens are so fucking cute, but the sounds that came out of my mouth, and the clenching of teeth and fists is embarrassing.
This is another of Michael Kenna's works.
Holy Fan Douchiery. Jeanie just found the COOOOOLEST thing ever. We've been on our computers, on her bed for the past 2 hours just looking up shit, and finally we have come upon the FUNNEST thing in THE WORLD.
GO HERE.
DO THIS!! Copy and paste this line and put it in the box, then click the "Say It' button on the top right.
" Vagina farts. Farty Fart fat farts. vag vag vaggy. voo voo. i am a douche bag."
(and if you are really adventurous listen to this!! this is one jeanie and i made up.)
This may change your life forever. But i won't take credit for it. It's all up to you.
God Speed, my children.
1.23.2009
armoured cars and penelope cruz
"jill, your mother has just received an autoharp.
dont ask why or how, just know that after i have tuned it, i will no longer have a need for it.
it is all yours"
so now i have an autoharp.
auto- harp.
i had no idea close to jesus himself what the rock this contraption was, but i knew, in my heart of hearts ( i love that saying) that i would learn to love and live this autoharp.
this will be me in 23 years, i swear by it.
(either the man or the woman, i can't decide)
i can hardly wait.
and oh my god, i just found this whilst researching the autoharp
it made me giggle a few times.
Star Wars according to a 3 year old, is the title.
(don't you judge me)
it's great.
I've been making a lot of fish lately.
Basa, which is a Southeast Asian catfish, is SO fucking tasty!!
All you do is either sear it up with some ginger and garlic and lime... or even better- cajun spice and lime.. make it crispy on the outside and BOOSH! You will crap in your mouth with delight.
yum.
yum.
dont ask why or how, just know that after i have tuned it, i will no longer have a need for it.
it is all yours"
so now i have an autoharp.
auto- harp.
i had no idea close to jesus himself what the rock this contraption was, but i knew, in my heart of hearts ( i love that saying) that i would learn to love and live this autoharp.
this will be me in 23 years, i swear by it.
(either the man or the woman, i can't decide)
i can hardly wait.
and oh my god, i just found this whilst researching the autoharp
it made me giggle a few times.
Star Wars according to a 3 year old, is the title.
(don't you judge me)
it's great.
I've been making a lot of fish lately.
Basa, which is a Southeast Asian catfish, is SO fucking tasty!!
All you do is either sear it up with some ginger and garlic and lime... or even better- cajun spice and lime.. make it crispy on the outside and BOOSH! You will crap in your mouth with delight.
yum.
yum.
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