I am a poopy farter.

so now that i have just recently installed my Stumble Upon Toolbar I am most definitley going to be blogging a shitload more...
Mostly because I sometimes feel like I dont have anything important to blog about, and now with this newfound friend on mine, StumbleUpon, I can have hella-interesting shit to throw your way.
Not unlike this guy.


His name is Michael Kenna, and he takes amazing photographs. I just discovered him after I looked a total of 287 pictures of kittens on The Daily Kitten. It was not only a wonderfully indulgent experience, but a rather nauseating one as well. Kittens are so fucking cute, but the sounds that came out of my mouth, and the clenching of teeth and fists is embarrassing.

This is another of Michael Kenna's works.


Holy Fan Douchiery. Jeanie just found the COOOOOLEST thing ever. We've been on our computers, on her bed for the past 2 hours just looking up shit, and finally we have come upon the FUNNEST thing in THE WORLD.
GO HERE.

DO THIS!! Copy and paste this line and put it in the box, then click the "Say It' button on the top right.
" Vagina farts. Farty Fart fat farts. vag vag vaggy. voo voo. i am a douche bag."

(and if you are really adventurous listen to this!! this is one jeanie and i made up.)

This may change your life forever. But i won't take credit for it. It's all up to you.

God Speed, my children.

armoured cars and penelope cruz

"jill, your mother has just received an autoharp.
dont ask why or how, just know that after i have tuned it, i will no longer have a need for it.
it is all yours"

so now i have an autoharp.
auto- harp.
i had no idea close to jesus himself what the rock this contraption was, but i knew, in my heart of hearts ( i love that saying) that i would learn to love and live this autoharp.

this will be me in 23 years, i swear by it.
(either the man or the woman, i can't decide)

i can hardly wait.
and oh my god, i just found this whilst researching the autoharp
it made me giggle a few times.
Star Wars according to a 3 year old, is the title.
(don't you judge me)


it's great.

I've been making a lot of fish lately.
Basa, which is a Southeast Asian catfish, is SO fucking tasty!!
All you do is either sear it up with some ginger and garlic and lime... or even better- cajun spice and lime.. make it crispy on the outside and BOOSH! You will crap in your mouth with delight.
yum.

yum.

dear arnold:

this is being written to you while mini-speakers pump out postulating pulses of Spanish Key by our dear friend Miles. From that Davis family. Arnold, I just ate food and now, all these things flow about in my stomach, causing a sensation of really tight cellophane over a dear friend's face.
oh no, not you, arnold. don't get like that.

things in my stomach right now:
1) rice
2) red pepper
3) feta
4) lentils
5) yellow pepper
6) kalamata olives
7) red onion
8) rice chips
9) a gingerbread cookie
10) a small child
11)
12) the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of Fat Head.
13) curtains
14) ridiculosity

and now, i will dispense something i found that made me laugh.
see, i've been reading a shitload of travel "blogs" by this guy called Road Junky and he rules (check it out)

and i found this awesome video.
if i was there, do you know how hard i would be on the ground laughing my silly little ass off??
Like do they even know how silly they look?
Just GET OFF and stop acting like you didn't fart, cuz i KNOW it was you, fucker.

this is the awesome awesome video.


just so ridiculous.

so i am getting things together, playing some shows.

This Friday, Jan 16- 9pm- Wunderbar - Whyte Ave and some street ( i feel nauseous)
This Sunday, Jan 18- 9pm- The Varscona Theatre- off Whyte Ave- acoustic set!!

And i am hopefully going to put up some art at Wunderbar, so if you are ever getting drunk there, look up from your sorrow drowning and see my portrait of noses on the wall.
think of me fondly while you polish off that last drop.

have you ever noticed how polished looks so much like Polish? Like the country?
god, sometimes I'm afraid people will think I'm talking about the country, when really i'm just referring to shiny silver.

ok, the toilet is calling me.
Numbers 4-8 on the previous list are ready. to evacuate.

love you as much as periwinkle skirts and lavender berries.

jill pollock fuckeroo